


In Which it is Seriously Time to Talk about Sexuality and Quadrants feat. Dave and Rose

by Miki_and_company



Series: what nobody ever wanted to know about the nature of trolls [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bisexual Rose, Internalized Homophobia, Meteorstuck, Multi, Pesterlog, Sexuality, closeted dave, hardly makes sense i was tired, quadrants, real talk, verbose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 03:26:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7342759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miki_and_company/pseuds/Miki_and_company
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even when you live on a floating rock without an heterosexual in sight, it sometimes takes time for it to sink in that you don't have to be all douchey McStraighty for the show anymore. Luckily, you have plenty of time and also a seer to help shed some light on the matter. Accessorily, Alien romance: Top or Flop?</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which it is Seriously Time to Talk about Sexuality and Quadrants feat. Dave and Rose

**Author's Note:**

> i guess I'm the type to overanalyse but apparently some people like it and since my subject of predilection is sexuality, relationships and they're place in society I guess this was a given. canon-compliant, but I've made quite a few links of my own so idk.

TurntechGodhead [TG] began pestering TentaclesTherapist [TT]

TG : hey rose

TT : Hi Dave. 

TG: sup

TT: Not much. You? Is there a particular reason you are contacting me?

TG: nah im just bored

TG: as usual i guess

TT: I’m not surprised. Though I feel somewhat piqued that you didn’t even bother to come and greet me in person. Is your body so ached it is impossible for you to come down and join me?

TG: yeah like i even know where the fuck you are on this fucking rock

TT: I have a feeling this is not the true reason.

TG: yeah okay i might be hanging out with karkat

TG: like we started that movie marathon

TG: then i realized i cant even go through like one full movie paying attention all the way

TG: much less if its a romcom

TG: guess like theres 20 minutes left to that crap

TG: except i have no idea what character is who and why i should care

TG: and i dont want to leave the poor dude hangin

TG: thatd be rude

TG: texting is okay cause its like yeah i don’t care but i dont mind hanging out with you either it’s a good midway point yknow

TT: How considerate.

TG: i know right

TG: so have you got some seer wisdom or anything to share with me like an actual conversation topic or should i just continue going on about whatever

TT: I have no particular topic in mind at the moment, what I would suggest is that you indeed go on whatever tangent suits you and I comment any subject that I find interesting?

TG: that sounds like a definitive plan of yours to end up talking about sex or the meteor crews psychological problems or your girlfriend uh

TT: She’s not my girlfriend!

TT: Yet.

TT: I’m working on that.

TG: you are uh

TG: just look at how the turns tabled from you accusing me of being gay when i was 13 and shit

TT: That statement still stands, in parts. Besides, despite what you may have derived from these conversations, I have never stated anything about my own heterosexuality.

TT: On the contrary, haven’t you ever thought that perhaps my repetitive mentions of the subject might have been a subtle attempt to bring about the subject in a more serious fashion?  
TT: I think you mimicked that behavior yourself in some way, though unconsciously.

TG: and here we go again rose its not because youre gay that everyone else is get over it

TT: I am not gay, Dave.

TT: I am bisexual with a preference for women, nuance.

TG: how do you even say that with confidence

TT: I have been raised in an environment much less hostile than yours surrounding the subject. For sure, it had its shortcomings, few human societies that used to be were truly devoid of things like heteronormativity or sexual assumptions. But I managed to gloss over these things taught to me at a young age, partly thanks to environment, partly thanks to luck and curiosity on my part.

TG: well i guess thats all good for you

TG: maybe some people dont want to burden themselves with all that questioning bullshit because they just know theyre normal

TG: i means thats the shit

TG: like you just know it when youre gay and stuff right

TG: and sometimes you repress it and hide it because of assholes with guns and homophobic grandparents and assbackwards biblesworn hypocrite politicians

TG: and you eventually fail and shit because you crave the dick so damn much

TG: and if so you should totally be able to flaunt it or whatever

TG: and ill be here enjoying gals

TG: if theres even many gals left enjoying in paradox space

TG: theres always jade but god knows who shell be after three years completely away from us

TG: and there would be terezi if she hadn’t turned me down with that friendzoning of destiny bullshit

TT: I will stop you right here.

TT: Not because what you are saying is uninteresting but rather because I have so much to say about it and if you continue it will have completely vanished from relevance when it should not.

TG: oh my god ive opened a big can of worms and im going to have to eat them wont i

TG: fuck you and your fucking mouth strider

TG: what the fuck did i even say that was so wrong or gay

TG: it has to be one of them

TT: Let us start with the notion of normal you seem to have.

TT: What about diverse sexualities is so abnormal to you? After over two years away from our past society, and over a year spent in close quarters with a diverse range of individuals, none of whom fitting your mold of heterosexuality, almost all of whom coming from a society that didn’t even consider sexuality based on gender a thing, it is surprising to me that you still cling to that notion.

TG: well its not like because everybody on this meteor is gay as fuck that everyone will be when we get off it

TG: i strongly doubt well arrive to a game session where your teen mom will just be declaming poetry to johns teen nannas bountiful breasts and my bro just smoochin dramatically jades poppop

TG: wow that would be weird though

TG: and john and jade are still straight

TG: and trolls are trolls and they have these weird quadrants and theyre not like us period

TG: so despite everything you seem to think for humans its still normal and not everyone is gay

TT: Do you have substantial evidence that our former guardians were truly heterosexual?

TG: well for starters your mom and johns dad dated so thats that and also nanna married to a man since she had johns dad and my bro is my bro and i would have known

TG: i guess i have no evidence for jade poppop but i never knew anything about him

TG: oh wait jade did mention he had like a thousand pictures of chicks lying around her place

TG: so kind of creepy but straight too

TT: I still stand by my claim that there isn’t anything abnormal about disobeying heteronormativity.

TT: and that your refusal to face questioning yourself about it is in itself a form of self-closeting.

TT: Dave, I do not know if you are gay, but if you are, you’ve clearly got some issues about it.

TT: If not, I still think it would be beneficial for you to open your mind and go through the questioning.

TT: Because, no, you do not “just know when youre gay and shit” Sometimes you do, and sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you are bisexual or pansexual or asexual and you have to test the grounds and fall in love or find yourself in a particular situation to truly find that ‘spark’ that you can associate with attraction, or maybe not. And sometimes the people around you know before you do, and they’ll try to tell you but they can’t figure it out for you. Listen to yourself, and listen to others, though the latter cannot decide how you live with it for you.

TG: slap that on a sunset picture and post it on facebook girl you got yourself a winner quote

TG: wait hasnt vriska started to make that network thing though

TG: like she called it vriskagram or whatever

TG: narcissistic much?

TG: you can like post that on there 

TG: and ill be the asshole to comment with typos

TG: and karkat can be the hater

TG: and terezi can be the chick who cant stop changing her relationship status with that guy whos clearly bad for her

TG: its almost as if the internet was still alive

TT: Let us move on from this inane statement to further analyse your previous comments on troll sexuality, this is actually an amazing subject you just brought to the surface, and I’ve done quite my share of study on it I am starting to grasp it fairly well and it is not even as remotely alien as you may think, despite first appearances.

TG: karkat has already tried and let me tell you that shit is fucking weird and nothing will make me change my mind about it

TT: Keep an open mind, Dave, keep an open mind.

TT: maybe it will even help you understand the complex relationship between social and natural aspects of relationships that overflows into our own earth concepts. At first, I was myself skeptic, but having the possibility to observe the aspects of romance foreign to me first hand, otherwise known as moiralliegance, kismesitude and auspitizing, I have been able to understand the concept of relationships as a whole rather than as separate entities; which is the key to understand both their natural and sociological components.

TG: hello rose its the plebe here if you want me to even pretend to follow this crap perhaps youd like to talk in a more accessible manner than by immitating a discount 19th century philosophist

TT: Sorry, perhaps I should have rapped my statements.

TG: your raps sounds like Shakespeare trying to rap just explain it in the simplest terms possible

TT: All of the troll quadrants are not so weird when you consider the needs they would have gathered from their type of society. Each of them is interesting, and valid, though no more or no less than our own structures of romance.

TT: Is this clear enough?

TG: yeah i can understand this go on

TT: And despite the fact that each system is valid, it still is possible for humans and troll to have the most fulfilling relationships with each other. It is all situational.

TT: The family unit is a good example. For humans, it is natural, for trolls, it is near inexistent. They have a custodian, who serves in accompanying them in domestic living and early childhood behavior shaping; they also have an ancestor who allows them to have a figure to look upon. Apart from that, all of their sociological needs are filled through relationships, with people their age, at least until adulthood when the age gaps can widen quite a bit depending on blood type.  
TT: Which explains the natural aspect, for them, of plural romances.

TG: sure when you put it like that it makes sense

TT: With this the most natural quadrant becomes the pale one. A moirail fills approximatively the role of a sibling, to some differences, or even of a caring parent. I’ve read that often in moiralliegances one moirail seemed more dependent upon the other. They are the ‘parent’ moirail. It is a bit analogous to the mom friend. Sometimes they don’t. The role of moirail really is to balance the other person, to have a platonic, sincere, and rational to an extent but always sincerely affectionate person who will be by your side through the tough times. Of course, this relative analogy is quite far-fetched when you consider the major difference in being imposed a relative and choosing a platonic partner. Not to mention I may be wrong of the notion of a sibling altogether, never having had one.

TT: I heard it was quite a cliché to have moirails be comically opposed in personality. I guess it highlights the ‘balance’ part of the equation.

TG: yeah now that youre mentioning it like moirails in karkats movies are always like a super aggressive one and a nice cuddly one and fuckin watch out if someone even bothers threatening either  


TT: It is an oversimplification, just like our own media tends to oversimplify romance, but it can help you see how they perceive it.

TG: also i dont know if its because I havent really been paying attention but theyre much less touchy feely shoosh pap than I would have expected it

TG: and i mean both vriskrezi and the movies

TT: It is because moirails are not by nature drawn physically to each other, both sexually and overall romantically.

TT: To put it the way I’ve heard Karkat say once as he overheard me ask that very same question, “a moirail isn’t a fucking cuddlebeast, that’s what a matesprit is for you thick-skulled human.”

TT: Physical contact with moirail is important, but it is more a consecration of the moiraillegance than a mere casual act. It could be a goodbye or thank you hug, a reassuring hand holding, or as you put it, a calming “shoosh pap.” Apart from that moirails have near exactly the same gestures towards each other than casual friends. Some are cuddlier than others. The difference really lays in the feelings, protective, affectionate, balancing, than in the physical aspect. A moirail is like family. Safe. Natural. Present. A safety net. One you may even forget you have, or take for granted.

TG: oh ok yeah the movie is kind of getting to an end theyre like in the third act you have ten minutes to explain me the rest because after that youre out

TT: You really seem to have a dedicated relationship to Karkat, do you not?

TG: what are you talking about were just bros

TT: Sure, Dave.

TT: I’ll try and be concise.

TT:In any fashion, the two remaining quandrants go together .

TG: also so far maybe youve made things a bit clearer about the rails thing but it still tells me nothing about the true meaning of life you promised

TG: you are hot air rose

TT: It takes more than twenty minutes to fully explain how this relates to our own society. Perhaps I can explain it to you some other time. 

TG: I trusted you and you betrayed me

TT: Do you want to know about the last two quadrants, Dave?

TG: not sure

TG: maybe

TT: Here goes anyway: a good kismesis is a positive rival, in some way.

TT: It is someone whom you hate because you perceive as wasting their potential, or exploiting it in wrong ways. And you strive to teach them better. They think the same thing about you. Somewhere, you do perceive them as tangentially better than you. Simply, you’ll never admit that and their whereabouts bring you nothing but frustration. The games that get played around that frustration make for the courtship, and the mutual bettering of each other that can still arise from it makes for the point of that romance, apart from reproduction.

TT: I think this one stems from the fact that troll society is highly hierarchized and not very in touch with personal ambitions.

TT: Most adults are soldiers and that’s all they’ll ever be, especially for lowbloods. Having someone to measure yourself to is ergo very useful. Not to mention that it is seen as less degrading to hate someone very far away on the hemospectrum than to love them. 

TT: The problem comes from bad kismesitudes. One that dooms the parties involved to try and hurt each other for personal satisfaction bordering sadism. And masochism, because you know the other party doesn’t care about your personal growth either but you go along anyway, maybe out of boredom, maybe out of need for validation, maybe because you perceive a challenge where there is only deception.

TG: so like kismesitude is basically naruto and sasuke alright

TT: Auspicitizing completes the chart. It has the physically distant but emotionally aware aspect of conciliatory relationships and the frustrating reluctance of black relationships. It really typically exists to regulate black relationships in which communication is a terribly exploited aspect. 

TT: But auspitizing is also a positive experience for the auspitice too, because it allows them to understand better black relationships and the problems that naturally arises in them. 

TT: It also fulfills quite nicely meddling instincts.

TG: ive noticed some peeps on this goddamn rock have quite a lot of those

TG: dont worry this isn’t only directed to you it also applies to vriska and her lackey

TG: and everyone whos been insisting im red for karkat

TG: like what is even telling you were not rails or something

TT: Have you listened to my explanations at all, Dave?

TT: But what everyone has been thinking doesn’t have to be what you want to present everyone with. Even if it is usually more comfortable that way. Take your time, I’m eager for the fated day when you finally tell me everything.

TT: About the gay thing, if anything, if you really think our teen parents are even hostile in the slightest to these feelings, then here is now or never to try it out. It isn’t on this meteor that you’ll be judged.

TT: About the quadrant thing, I can still tell you that, yes, those relationships exist and they can make sense for humans, which doesn’t mean they are natural or necessary. No Matter how logical they may be, they stay boxes in which societies put us. Every friendship, every romance, every siblinghood will be different from the other, will be derived from our needs and the availability of others. The ideal relationship we want with someone may not lie in one of those boxes. They are merely guidelines. Similar or drastically different from what we can or want. Which isn’t very different from human sexualities. 

TT: If I’ve timed myself right your movie must be about to end. 

TT: Don’t hold back, Dave.

TG: shit howd you do that the credits JUST started rolling

TG: fuckin light powers man

TG: i mean thanks i guess

TG: was good talking to you

TG: kind of almost got what you meant which is weird

TG: its very different from what I thought yet it makes sense

TG: so uh

TG: bye I guess

TurntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering TentaclesTherapist [TT]

TT: Bye, Dave.

TentaclesTherapist [TT] ceased pestering TurntechGodhead [TG]

**Author's Note:**

> Shit if copist monks still existed they would be doing HTML formatting that things a bitch.  
> Also, sorry for the rose run on sentences I guess I'm tired.  
> yadi yada be careful spiers in the comments.  
> Thank you for playing. (along with my bullshit)


End file.
